04. 01. 2009
Buzzword shock bracelet
Don't you hate when nerves get the best of you during a big presentation and no matter how well-prepared you are, the "likes" and "you knows" start falling out of your mouth along with a spatter of silly giggles? Really unprofessional. Or maybe your use of corporate buzzwords that mean nothing like "value added service" and "mobile social network extranet" has gotten so extreme that even the bigwigs with C in their titles (CEO, COO, CTO, CSO- Chief Synergy Officer) have started to wonder if you really know what your company does. Well your troubles are over. The Buzzword shock bracelet, which works a lot like the electric shock collars we put around dogs with boundary issues, can detect when you use those words, and will emit a mildly painful shock. Of course, it can't predict when you use those words, so it won't stop you from saying them, but soon you'll associate those words with pain, numbing, and embarrassing yelps, so you'll soon learn to find alternatives, or better yet, you'll just stop talking and start nodding every time you're in a meeting.
The included software lets you program your own problem words and lets you track your progress. For example, when "think outside the box" falls from 600 shocks in June to just 1 in August, you might be ready to turn that phrase off to leave room in the wristband's memory for the ever-increasing new bank of words which mean absolutely nothing.
Just $39.99 at Think Geek.