Why do we put real shoes on just born infants who can't even hold their heads up, let alone walk? Newborns' feet are like mush; they just dangle like a pair of earrings. Yet, we jcan't help ourselves, can we? Because what's cuter than a pair of teeny tiny shoes on a teeny tiny human being who doesn't have the awareness to complain about useless apparel?

Taking this silliness to a whole new level, a company has designed soft crib shoes that look like high heel pumps for budding Carrie Bradshaws. Purely for the amusement of adults, of course, as the baby could care less (until she's about 9, at which point she'll either love them or want to kill you for once making her look ridiculous). Heelarious shoes come in six different designs, and each pair comes in a little plastic purse with a rhinestone button closure. They're for infants who are zero to six months, so if you're going to have fun with these, you've got to buy them at birth. Once they're out crawling, it's too late.

Next time a friend of mine gives birth to a girl, I'm visiting the hospital with a pair of these. Every new mother needs a good laugh after what she's just been through, and I don't think $35 for a pair of these mock shoes is too much for a bit of comic relief at the beginning of a long journey. Look here for stores that sell them.