I've heard that dogs generally run around on hard surfaces enough to never actually need a nail clipping, but people who say that have never seen my dog Mojo, who runs around plenty, whose nails have grown to curly Cheetos length, like those people in the Guinness Book of World Records who haven't clipped their nails in 50 years. Mojo has become a hook-nailed record holder because way back in puppyhood, I accidentally clipped one of her nails a bit too close to the quick, which resulted in a dramatic spurting of blood and a grudge which lasts till this day. I've been reduced to sneaking up behind her and grabbing one of her claw-like paws and quickly snipping one hook off, after which she gets so angry, I have to wait a few days before attempting the next nail. By the time I've finished the last nail, the first ones have grown into hooks again.

I wish I could time-travel with a QuickFinder Clipper, which has sensor technology that lets you know when you are clipping your pet's nail too close to the quick. As you lay the blade against the nail, the QuickFinder will either light up green which means you're good to go; red, which is obvious; or yellow, meaning be very very careful before you clip. Many dogs and cats have nails which are black, or too thick and opaque to reveal any signs of the pink quick, which is filled with live blood. The quick is also filled with nerve endings, so nicking it can cause a lot of pain.

The QuickFinder Clipper is available for $35 from Doggy Booty.