So I am stuck with my own scant knowledge of what a yawn actually means in any medical terms. Probably absolutely nothing, as everyone does it, most every day. Still, what everyone seems to believe is that a yawn is giving you more oxygen to make you more alert. I'll go with that and try really hard to make sure I'm not ever oxygen deprived so I never yawn again.

Perhaps the 02hi personal oxygen machine will help me to quell the yawns permanently. Unlike the bubbling cauldron-like devices I see in malls, the 02hi is a small, almost elegant looking little device that resembles a Brita water pitcher. It emits negative ions which purify the air to the point of being 50% more oxygen rich than clean mountain air. That probably makes it about 1000% purer than the thick murky, code-red city air I'm currently trying to breathe. No wonder I'm so tired.

There's a timer which allows for 10, 20, or 30 minute sessions of brain-enriching ionic breezes. You can set it to desktop mode, to make a small bubble of clean air, or use a headset, which I would guess gives you a more concentrated burst. I believe there's no real medical evidence for needing these sorts of spa-like oxygen devices (very different, of course, from the portable oxygen needed by people with real breathing disorders) but has that ever stopped me? I don't need real medical evidence, I got Grey's Anatomy.

The 02hi is $1295 from Bliss.