06. 19. 2007
02hi personal oxygen machine
I am a very serious hypochondriac who should never be allowed to watch medical shows but I'm addicted to House so I predictably develop about 3-4 new serious ailments a week. Something that I'm currently fixated on is based on an episode of House- when one of the characters frequently yawns, Dr. House calls it a "symptom" and then finds several scary reasons why it could be something beyond being a little tired. I'm an insomniac who never sleeps more than a couple of hours at a stretch (though I spend enough hours in bed trying to sleep, I just wake a up a lot) so the occasional yawn is probably to be expected but every time it happens lately, a veritable roll call of scary diseases comes to mind now. Thanks Hugh Laurie. I know better than to google "excessive yawning" because if I do that, I'll be in the emergency room before the end of the day, having convinced myself that I'm deathly ill.
So I am stuck with my own scant knowledge of what a yawn actually means in any medical terms. Probably absolutely nothing, as everyone does it, most every day. Still, what everyone seems to believe is that a yawn is giving you more oxygen to make you more alert. I'll go with that and try really hard to make sure I'm not ever oxygen deprived so I never yawn again.
Perhaps the 02hi personal oxygen machine will help me to quell the yawns permanently. Unlike the bubbling cauldron-like devices I see in malls, the 02hi is a small, almost elegant looking little device that resembles a Brita water pitcher. It emits negative ions which purify the air to the point of being 50% more oxygen rich than clean mountain air. That probably makes it about 1000% purer than the thick murky, code-red city air I'm currently trying to breathe. No wonder I'm so tired.
There's a timer which allows for 10, 20, or 30 minute sessions of brain-enriching ionic breezes. You can set it to desktop mode, to make a small bubble of clean air, or use a headset, which I would guess gives you a more concentrated burst. I believe there's no real medical evidence for needing these sorts of spa-like oxygen devices (very different, of course, from the portable oxygen needed by people with real breathing disorders) but has that ever stopped me? I don't need real medical evidence, I got Grey's Anatomy.
The 02hi is $1295 from Bliss.