As I feared, I wound up not being able to resist buying a Tamagotchi Connection, and got one for my niece too so the Tamagotchi could play.
When you first pull the plug tab on the Tamagotchi, what you get is a little quivering egg. After about five minutes, it hatches and you get a birth announcement letting you know if you've had a girl or a boy. My pink Tamagotchi was a girl, my niece's purple was a boy. My niece named hers Juno, I messed up when I was trying to enter letters with the three buttons and it got stuck with "Aa a". All you can do with the babies is feed them their bottles and watch them dance or jump. I lost interest after about 3 minutes so I put it down. When I returned about an hour later, it was already dying in a pile of its own filth. She was able to be revived after several injections and feedings.
Day 2:

After my niece babysits all day, Aa a matures, along with Juno, into the second life stage of a Tamagotchi: a child that looks like a blob. Children can finally make that "connection" so we line up the Tamagotchi infrared to infrared and try to play. Juno gives Aa a some flowers. Then Aa a goes to Juno's "house" and gives him a big fat turd. Seriously. Then she comes home, poops some more and promptly dies.
The end.