06. 18. 2004
Father's Day Gifts
CNN reports that your dad would like you to drop that tie and get on over to Best Buy. Best Buy conducted the survey, by the way, but I'm sure they made the non-electronics choices sound just as appealing as the gadgets available at BestBuyBestBuyBestBuy.
Some suggestions for last-minute shopping:
Buy Dad a Hummer. I mean GM's HUMMER-AE. I'm a little short on the 50 grand for the H2, but I'm going to splurge on the $29.95 Hummer Shake Flashlight. 30 seconds of shaking will power up the LED for five minutes. Add Outkast's Speakerboxxx and he'll have the perfect soundtrack while he shakes. Let him go crazy because the Shake Light is shockproof and rubber-coated for protection.
The Personal Warm+Cool System Wearable Peltier Effect Climate Control will help your dad keep cool while he mows the lawn. He'll also up his street cred in the neighborhood by looking like an electronic collared felon.
Shower your father with negative ions with the Feel-Good Desktop Fan and Negative Ionizer. Negative ions are actually a good thing, and make the stale inside air feel more like the outdoors. Outdoors, in my case, brings a blast of fiery-hot swampiness, but negative ions should help refresh a stuffy office.
The Nikon LaserCaddy has a laser that calculates exact distances between tees and holes and is almost as accurate as the one implanted in the brain of a baby boy in 1975. It won't help anyone's swing, but is sure to look impressive to gadget-mad golf fanatics.
If you're a very very good (and rich) daughter, you can get your dad the ultimate television, the RCA Scenium DLP Micro-Display HDTV. 61 inches of picture so clear and so true to life, he'll see Britney's pimples before she does. And his anamorphic widescreen DVDs will look incredible.